How Old Are You?
by ILovetheTalkingClock
Summary: Dr. Flug creates a machine that has heroes age rapidly until they die when they look at it, but the problem is he needed to balance it out. So the Machine also temporarily reverses villains to an infantile state to relive stress. But then it all goes wrong... is 5.0.5 cut out to be a 'baby'-sitter until the effects wear off? (CONTAINS MENTAL AGE REGRESSION.)
1. Chapter 1

(Begin in the lab, with Cambot recording.)

Black Hat: Greetings! Black Hat here, with another device to DESTROY the ones in your way!

(Black Hat shows a robot that looks like a black and white pendulum wall clock, except it robotic legs like Cambot.)

Black Hat: You know the Cambot? Well this here is the ClockBot! Flug, how does this machine work?!

Dr. Flug: Uh, well, sir, it's really simple actually. All the subject has to do is look at the clock and they will rapidly age until they rot and die. But I had to balance it out: so for stress relief, if the subject is a villain, it will give off the opposite effect. That means if a villain looks at the clock, their minds will be reverted to...

(Flug subconsciously looks at the clock on the ClockBot's top.)

Flug: In… fan… cy…

(Flug falls on his rear.)

Flug: Buhh.. bah? Guh….

Black Hat: INFANCY?! Flug, how many times do I have to tell you: WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO BALANCE IT OUT, DON'T USE THE INTERNET AS INSPIRATION! Not to mention not everyone wants to relieve stress by acting like a dumb baby! Although...

(Flug, continuing to drool and babble, crawls off. The ClockBot goes up to Black Hat. From how it looks, it seems that the machine is FORCING Black Hat to look at its top. Black Hat attempts to push it away, clearly angered.)

Black Hat: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OFF ME!

(However, the ClockBot grabs Black Hat's head and has him look at its top. Then Black Hat stops resisting and gives one of his devilish grins.)

Black Hat: You do realize that this won't make me powerless, but just lose even more control of myself…

(The sclera in Black Hat's right eye turns black, with pupil glowing deep red. The ClockBot casually lets go of Black Hat. He falls on all fours and starts mindlessly attacking the Clockbot, with no consciousness whatsoever. However, The ClockBot stealthily gets away, though having several injuries. Demencia slithers in, not completely knowing of what's happening.)

Demencia: Hi Flug! Are you playing pretend?

(The ClockBot then goes up to Demencia. The lizard-like lady then obliviously examines the machine, including the top!)

Demencia: Ooohh!

(Demencia then goes on all fours, starts giggling, and crawls around ((though more lizard-like than baby-like)). The ClockBot goes up to the Cambot, and the Cambot's screen goes to static, in which we then see it waddle around as well. Finally, 5.0.5 walks in.)

5.0.5: Hmhmhm-BRWOOOO?!

(The ClockBot comes up and attempts to clockbotify him too, but seemingly with no avail. 5.0.5 then picks up the machine and turns it off. Setting it down in a corner.)

5.0.5: Mmhm!

(He then makes motions as if he believes what's going on around him is no big deal. He then gets the idea to take care of them until the effects wear off. He sees Black Hat destroying a chair.)

5.0.5: Bawroo!

(He picks him up in a cradling position, but then… well…)

Black Hat: WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGGHH!

(5.0.5 is stiff from the extremely loud, feral, and downright demonic wail Black Hat lets out. Black Hat continues 'crying' nonstop. 5.0.5 then looks at the mess the equally brain-drained Demencia, Cambot, and Flug are making in the room. Flug is drawing nonsense on the wall with chalk, Demencia is randomly chewing on stuff, and Cambot knocks things over. As Black Hat continues to cry and Flug, Cambot, and Demencia wreck the place, 5.0.5 realizes this is gonna be harder than he thought…)

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

(We see a montage of 5.0.5 buying childish supplies, using one of Flug's inventions to grow them slightly to fit perfectly in the Black Hat, Flug, Demencia, and Cambot's hands. A majority of the shoppers are surprised as they see him pushing a shopping cart covered in a blanket, which is also constantly having internal kicking motions, implying the four are in there. Just after 5.0.5 is finished buying his stuff...)

Black Hat: (in the cart) *CHOMP!*

Flug: (also in the cart) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

5.0.5: Bwro!

(5.0.5 immediately rushes out of the store. Cut to back in the house, 5.0.5 is bandaging up a still sobbing Flug while Black Hat is in a colorfully decorated cage, gnawing on the bars, which are obviously getting damaged. We also see Demencia once again crawling like a baby lizard, bumping into stuff and going out of the room they were all in. All are now dressed in childish clothing instead of what they usually wear.((Flug in overalls over his trademark plane crash shirt, Demencia in a lizard-themed footed sleeper, Black Hat in a frillier version of his usual suit, and Cambot in a baby bonnet.)))

Demencia: Hahahahahaha!

5.0.5: Brrrwooo!

(5.0.5 finishes bandaging Flug and runs after Demencia. She crashes into several things, shrugging them off before 5.0.5 finally catches her.)

Demencia: Hmmmmhh...

(5.0.5 then proceeds to take her back to the room. He puts her down in a crib when he notices… the cage Black hat is in is completely destroyed and Black Hat is gone! 5.0.5 immediately knows this is gonna suck.)

5.0.5: Bawrooo….

(5.0.5 picks Flug up and sets him in his crib as well.)

Flug: (tearing up) Ehhhehh….

5.0.5: Shhhhh…

(5.0.5 turns on a mobile above the crib, calming Flug down and slowly fall asleep. He does the same for Demencia before going to find Black Hat. He goes in the lab, now dark due to it being nighttime…)

5.0.5: Baaaaawroo… baaaaawroo…

(echo)

(5.0.5 suddenly hears a crash and sees Black Hat in the shelf, who ducks.)

5.0.5: Bwwroo!

(5.0.5 runs to the self. Only to not see Black Hat there…)

5.0.5: Bawroo?

(5.0.5 hears soft growling from a large vase, to which he pokes his head in. Nothing there. He then hears a certain sound…)

Black Hat: WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!

(Black Hat pounces on 5.0.5.)

5.0.5: BWROOO!

(5.0.5 catches Black Hat in his arms, in which the demonic creature struggles.)

Black Hat: GGGGGRRRRAAAAHHHH! WRAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGHH! Grrrrr… rrrggghhh...

Flug: (offscreen) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

5.0.5: Bwrooo…

(5.0.5 carries Black Hat back into the room, finding an even stronger cage for him and placing him into it. 5.0.5 then picks Flug up out of his crib.)

Flug: Ehhhh! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

5.0.5: Bwroooo…

(Flug begins calming down as 5.0.5 rocks him in a cradling position. Once Flug calms down, he puts him back in his crib, giving him a leak free straw cup of warm milk. Flug drinks the milk, calming down completely as 5.0.5 leaves the room. For the next couple of minutes, we see subtitles for translation as music starts playing…)

5.0.5:  
Lost in the darkness,  
Silence surrounds you.  
Once there were rock songs,  
Now nursery rhymes.

I will find the answer.  
I'll never desert you -  
I promise you this -  
Till the day that I…

ClockBot:  
Do you really think  
That I would ever let them go?  
Do you think I'd ever set them free?  
If you do, I'm sad to say,  
It simply isn't so.  
They will never be away from me!

5.0.5:  
Why can't you see  
All the pain that you brought them?

You did nothing but give them grief!

ClockBot:  
All that I did  
Was to make them happy!  
I was designed for stress relief!

5.0.5:  
All that you are  
Is a zombie virus!  
All that you are is a dying scream!  
After tonight,  
I shall wake from this dream!

ClockBot:  
This is no dream, 5.0.5-  
And it's not gonna end!  
This is real and it will go on!  
ClockBot's here to stay,  
No matter what you may pretend -  
And thankfully he'll never be gone!

5.0.5:  
Soon they will turn back,  
And Black Hat will hide you!  
But for now I am in control.

ClockBot:  
You can't control ME!  
I'm now my own villain!  
Each day you'll see me replenish their souls!

5.0.5:  
They don't need you to live,  
As they now need me!  
They'll be mature  
As you go away!  
And we'll all rejoice  
As you'll no longer stay!

ClockBot:  
Don't lie to yourself forever!

5.0.5:  
No!

ClockBot:  
These infantile evils are mine!

5.0.5:  
NO!

ClockBot:  
Just face it, now and forever,  
If you give them to me,  
No longer will you have to hide!

5.0.5:  
Can't you see  
It's over now?  
Just give in!

ClockBot:  
No, not I!  
Only you!

5.0.5:  
Don't let love

Take over you!

ClockBot:  
I'll give them

ETERNAL mental youth!

5.0.5:  
Please, ClockBot!  
Set them free!

ClockBot:  
How about you  
Raise them with me?

5.0.5:  
No!  
You'll make it worse!

ClockBot:  
Don't act like

I gave them a curse!

5.0.5:  
You practically have!

ClockBot:  
Have not!

5.0.5:  
Listen, ClockBot!  
Take your power,  
And make a family in the clone containment area!

ClockBot:  
Hmmm, very well then…

Goodbye, 5.0.5!

(The subtitles disappear, and the Clockbot goes through a steel door with a label. 5.0.5 just smiles a bit before going in his own bed to rest.)

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

(5.0.5 wakes up to see that the house looks dusty and aged…)

5.0.5: Bawroo?

(He gets up to wander, seeing the damaged area and some robotic tentacles slithering around the place. He notices that Demencia, Flug, and Cambot's cribs are empty and busted, along with Black Hat's cage..)

5.0.5: Bwroo…

(He walks more to find Demencia crawling, picking her up.)

Demencia: Hahahaha!

5.0.5: Bwro?

(He finds Flug drawing on the floor.)

5.0.5: Bwroo!

(5.0.5 picks Flug up as well. He then goes to find Black Hat destroying things while Cambot watches.)

5.0.5: Bawrooo…

(He decides to let Cambot and Black Hat be when he then looks outside. Much to his shock, the skies are dull and grey, houses are wrecked, there are skeletons of aged heroes on the ground, while there are also several ClockBots holding, cradling, and taking care of ClockBotified versions of the several villains that we've seen in the Orientation videos. He then sees the door to the clone containment area has been busted, ClockBotified versions of the Black Hat clones crawling out to cause infantile havoc.)

5.0.5: BAWROO?!

(They come to him, babbling and drooling onto him, before the ClockBotified villains plus the new ClockBots break into the house to come to 5.0.5 for unexplained reasons.)

5.0.5: AAAAAAAAAAHHH!

(5.0.5 is now sleeping on his bed. The house looks clean and normal, revealing what just happened to be a bad nightmare. Flug crawls to him, showing all that happened before that was not.)

Flug: Dah-duh?

( 5.0.5 softly wakes up, wondering what Flug is doing out of his crib.)

5.0.5: Bawroo?

(He picks Flug up, going to the room where the others should be. He finds their cribs chewed up, along with Black Hat's cage. He sighs, walking off with Flug to find them in the halls, Demencia knocking over pictures, Black Hat destroying things, and Cambot waddling around.)

5.0.5: Bawroo!

(5.0.5 picks them all up.)

Demencia: Hmmph!

Black Hat: WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGGHHH! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGGHH! Grrrrrrrr…. Rrrgggghhhh…

5.0.5: Bawroo…

(He puts all of them in adult-sized high chairs. Cut to 5.0.5 smiling as he spoon feeds Black Hat.)

5.0.5: Bawroo?

Black Hat: Mmmhh…

(Black Hat eats the stuff..)

Black Hat: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHH!

(Black Hat leaps out of his high chair and attacks 5.0.5.)

5.0.5: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

(Cut to 5.0.5 spoon feeding Flugnext. Flug turns his head away.)

5.0.5: Bwrooo…

(He then looks away, knowing Flug prefers that he eats without people watching. Much to his joy, Flug has eaten out of the spoon offscreen.)

5.0.5: Bawroo!

(Cut to 5.0.5 attempting to spoon feed Demencia next.)

Demencia: Ahahahahaha!

(She throws the stuff at 5.0.5, grabbing the spoon and putting that in her mouth instead.)

5.0.5: Bawroo…

(Cut to 5.0.5 putting a plug in Cambot to charge it.)

5.0.5: Bawroo!

(5.0.5 smiles and waits. Cut to 5.0.5 setting them in a large playpen, with childish toys grown to fit adult hands. Flug, Demencia, and Cambot play with some, while Black Hat breaks others.)

5.0.5: Bawro!

(5.0.5 walks off, smiling, thinking that the playpen bars will keep them safe. Black Hat then rams the playpen bars open.)

Black Hat: Rrrrgggghhhh…..

(Demencia, Flug, and Cambot follow Black Hat. They all find a large baby carriage meant to fit all of them in. Black Hat gets in, with the other three following. He sneezes, causing the carriage to become motorized. Smiling, he drives, breaking out of a window.)

Black Hat: WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUURRRGHH!

Flug: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

Demencia: Hahahaha!

(5.0.5 hears this. He runs to the playpen, only to see the three and the carriage gone, and the window broken. Immediately he runs after them.)

5.0.5: BRAWROO!

(They drive the carriage onto the neighborhood, crashing into multiple cars, signs, and lamp posts. 5.0.5 continues chasing them. The carriage passes by a background person, who simply throws away their soda in shock.)

5.0.5: BWROOO!

(5.0.5 finally grabs onto the carriage, refusing to let go. Black Hat frowns, spinning the car to throw 5.0.5 off. Despite this, 5.0.5 still holds on. Flug pukes on Black Hat, promptly getting Black Hat even more mad.)

Black Hat: GWRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!

(Black Hat attacks Flug, making him lose focus, causing the carriage to crash into even more things. Demencia then takes over, driving just as reckless as Black Hat.)

Demencia: Ahahahahaha!

Flug: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

(Finally, the carriage crashes back to their house. Cut to 5.0.5 finally putting the others into their rebuilt cribs and cage for a nap. Suddenly, this happens…)

Black Hat: Ie…. oh… Ie…

5.0.5: Bawroo?!

Black Hat: Fiiee… oohh… fieee…

(5.0.5 smiles)

Black Hat: Fiiive… ooohhh... fieeee….fiivve… oooohhh… 5.0.5! GET ME OUT OF THIS CAGE!

(5.0.5's smile fades, knowing he's screwed.)

Flug: What happened… oh… oh no.

Demencia: Oh no! The police finally caught me!

(5.0.5 gets Demencia out of her crib.)

Demencia: Oh, hey 5.0.5!

(Black Hat gets out of the cage himself, making it disappear along with all the other childish things. Cambot casually gets up, then it finds a tablet.)

Black Hat: FLUG! IF THAT WRETCHED BEAR OF YOURS HADN'T RESTRAINED ME, I WOULD'VE BEEN CAREFREE! AAUUGH!

Flug: I-I didn-

(Cambot shows the tablet to Black Hat and Flug.)

Flug: Hmm?

Black Hat: Well, well, well… seems that the ClockBot is in high demand! Now WHERE IS IT?!

Flug: W-well, I was going to tell you if it affects more than one person in one minute, it multiplies-

Black Hat: So there's gotta be a lot of it in this place!

(They go search for it. 5.0.5, of course, knows exactly where it is…)

5.0.5: Bawroo!

(5.0.5 grabs Flug by the hand and takes him along..)

Flug: Oh! Okay, then! Show me the way!

(5.0.5 reveals the door.)

Flug: W-well, that's a pretty big place, though we only have four clones, so this might be harder than-

(Just when Flug opens the door, he is trampled by multiple ClockBots. Surprisingly, even as he looks at them, they don't seem to be draining any of his maturity. Then the original ClockBot comes out, holding Earl ((the Derpy Black Hat Clone)) and bottle feeding him.)

ClockBot: Vwoot-vweet-vwoot!

(5.0.5 nods his head)

5.0.5: Bawroo!

(Black Hat comes in)

Black Hat: Wait, you mean you were able to disable it yourself the entire time?! And you did it just for fun?!

Flug: Now, now, sir! It just wanted to try it out! It also wants the clone containment area to be it's home, apparently.

Black Hat: Ugh, fine. But on ONE condition. Don't do it on ANY of US unless we ASK.

(The ClockBot nods its head.)

ClockBot: Vweet-vwoot!

(The ClockBot heads back into the clone containment area to stay as the other ClockBots go to the neighborhood to wreak havoc and go to the villains who bought them. Demencia is also shown riding on one, cheering on. Black Hat, Flug, and 5.0.5 look on. Black Hat then gives out a grin.)

Black Hat: Y'know… I feel like causing mindless destruction myself. And this time, no-one must hold me down…

5.0.5: Baw-

Flug: It's best we let him do what he wants.

(Black Hat then goes into the Clone Containment Area. Just a couple of seconds later, he bursts out of the door on all fours, drooling.)

Black Hat: WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHH!

(He proceeds to run out of the house, mindlessly destroying stuff while Flug and 5.0.5 watch…)

 **The End**


End file.
